From a very young age I wanted to be a princess. What little girl doesn’t? I would put on my mother’s heels, hats, gloves and even feather boas parading down my hallway pretending I was in a parade waving at everyone. One day my hair got cut short and that’s when I learned that the world is not all sunshine and rainbows. I was made fun of for my short hair in school. I told my mother I needed to grow it out again to look beautiful and like a princess. As any good mother would, she told me that I was beautiful, but I did not believe it.
When I got older I was put in professional modeling classes. The classes taught me a lot about modeling, acting and gigs but one thing it never taught me was self esteem. A bunch of my friends actually made fun of me for being in the classes saying that I must think I’m better than them because I model. This is when my depression started. After two agencies, multiple hair shows and some freelancing, I gave up on modeling. I did not feel beautiful at all and I did not have any good self esteem.
I put on a smile, a happy demeanor and went about my life but inside I was crumbling apart. When I had my first daughter, I knew she would look up to me. I knew that I had to be a role model for her. What I did not know was how difficult that would be when I had no faith in myself. How could I raise a strong, independent and courageous daughter when I thought I had none of those aspects in myself?
The years went on with me telling myself and everyone around me that I was fine. I had some very dark times. I tried to get back into modeling but it was hard when I had never worked though my depression. I still felt empty. I needed to change my thought process. I needed to get my mind healthy. I needed to be me again. I had completely forgotten who she was, who I am.
I started talking to other people about my thoughts, how I was feeling and I found that there were other people like me. They were lost in themselves. I started checking up on my friends, talking to them, showing them I was there for them whenever they needed. I wanted to make my daughter feel empowered and at the time she was going through her princess phase, so I made her dreams and my old dream a reality. I started my own business appearing as a princess and superhero at birthday parties, public events and private gatherings. My focus is to encourage those little girls and boys to talk about how they feel, to let them know they can talk to others about what is on their mind. I have worked with Make a Wish Foundation, Mary Bridge Children’s Hospital, Toys for Tots and other charities.
I started college with classes in psychology. I am focusing on counseling and criminal psychology.
I am now on a campaign to erase the taboos of mental health. You are NOT weak for seeking help. You are NOT weak for having to take medicine. Now is the time to stand up and say “I need help!”. I will be there to help you through this.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255 Available 24 hours everyday